Dating and Sex EmotionaI Intelligence

The breakup sequel

Written by Victor Nedu

Most times, the beginning of relationships are so enjoyable. The thrills and excitement of newfound love are so intoxicating that one feels entwined within the arms of another. Despite the fear of vulnerability and ignorance to the possibility of a sudden end to the gush of addictive happiness, the hope for continuity in the face of destructive odds drives, and pushes one on in light of never losing the sweet embrace of this feeling.

Negativity is one aspect of life ignored by the general populace out of disdain, but a great creative mind picks out the negativity and restructures the ideals of that negativity into extraordinary positivity which transports us into the highlight of this article. Relationships are beautiful but the events that follow after the end of it are an issue highly ignored and due to this, many find it hard to deal with the consequences of the break-up.

A whole lot of reasons initiate a break-up. 25% of these have probable reasons, 30% of relationships get called off due to the ultimate reason, cheating, and 45% of them end without any just cause or reason. This article is or concerned about the 45%.

Most relationships which end on the basis of cheating are usually easy to detach from no matter how deep and strong the emotional standard of the relationship stood. Arguments and contrary opinions to that stand on basis of negligible reasons, notwithstanding, costly mistakes are made sometimes after the relationship and here are four funny situations one should never consider themselves tied up with after the break-up.

I hope we get back together:

Smash it! Hit your head against a thick red bricked wall, so the blood doesn’t have much of an effect though, there’s no way it’s happening. The occurrence of such is 99.5% in the movies. Only in “the movie”. If the person was mature and sane enough to walk out of the relationship with little or no reasons, avoid the chances of building castles in the sky. It never worked out the first time. It will fail terribly a second time. Period!

We can still be friends on social media:

The idea of staying connected as a sign of maturity is the worst idea, personally. The period after the break up should experience a huge decline in interactions with the person. Instead of chatting up the sign which one is accustomed to, find a close friend to bug when you feel like talking to someone. The feeling will be replaced totally because, after the break-up, re-adjusting becomes a tad scary especially when one’s life totally or partially revolved around the person. Facebook, BBM, Instagram should be off bounds as a communication device between the both of you. Avoid tagging your ex’s pictures with the mindset that they will see how happy or content you are without them. In that manner, it becomes totally immature. In another case, try to avoid the temptation of visiting his/her page that satisfies your knowledge of the person doing good or going through hell (most people feel satisfied when their ex’s are going through worse times).

Have sex for old times sake:

The height of “patheticity” associated with the need for sex drives people sometimes to make regrettable decisions after 5 minutes of indescribable pleasure (for the quick ones). Never consider any sexual relationship with an ex, it moistens the wound and what happens when a wound is moistened continuously, an infection grows. The infection is the constant self-hate and disapproval given when you remember the hurtful things done in the first place. Its easier for guys to still keep sexual relationships with their ex’s, some cases are as far as even sexual relationships with their married ex-girlfriends. In the course of carrying out a survey, some attested to the fact that they only felt sexually attracted to that particular ex and could not find the urge with someone else. Liza Minelli! All lies and mind tricks played by our southward middle ends in response to the brain’s need for pure stimulation and passion. If one could develop sexual attraction with one, breaking up sends one message. The person didn’t deserve you, so move on and find someone else. It will be easier when you let go totally of your fear of rejection or starting up on a new slate with a new individual. Stop sending kisses and “I miss you” messages or worse, nude pictures, are bad incentives – more reasons why one must try and break off all forms of communication in the period after the end of the relationship.

Move into a new relationship quickly:

Solitude is the best remedy for constant progress in life. Even in relationships, space is given for both individuals to reconstruct and explore new facets of their lives. When the relationship is over, the best step to take is to find one’s self. A relationship lands one in the position of dependence in most cases on the other person for happiness, security, love, passion and a whole lot of other goodies. In the process, some lose touch with most of their family friends and social friends, others lose sight of socialising with others at all. Hence, try to rediscover yourself for a while, meet new people, reconnect with old friends, visit new places. Speaking for myself, most of my personal development has been realised at moments out of a relationship, although my new relationship is one based on total personal and career development for the both of us. Nevertheless, after a breakup, endeavour to be fully guarded as it helps one to heal quickly from the hurt and also transform into a mutated, better and advanced being for the next relationship.

Follow these series of advice and the aftermath of the breakup will not be as bad as presumed. Do remember that if one person decided to leave without trying to stay at least, it’s one sign that the person was practically not your best or you needed better development to meet the right person for you. If you can’t love yourself, how in hell are you going to love someone else?

Can I get an amen in here?

 

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Victor Nedu

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