Editorial

The emotional bandage

Written by Guest Writer

In the medical dictionary, an adhesive bandage is defined as:

A dressing of plain absorbent gauze affixed to plastic or fabric coated with a pressure-sensitive adhesive

A bandage is used to bind up wounds and to prevent infection which can led to greater threat to the person, and if not treated can even lead to death. The bandage is no longer needed once the wound has healed. At that point, it is removed and thrown into the waste bin.

Unfortunately, this little illustration about a bandage is regularly played out in many lives and has become the reason for many broken relationships.

Back then in my university days, I had a friend who started a romantic relationship with a young lady who had just had a bad breakup herself.

She was bitter about the breakup and extremely lonely. Her heart was badly broken because of her deep love for her ex. She then rushed into another romantic relationship to escape the great hurt she was feeling.

After five months, and as soon as she got healed and regained a semblance of emotional stability, she ended the relationship abruptly one day – chasing my friend out of her house – having progressively accused him of having “faults” she must have already seen in him before their short relationship began! She was ready to move on with her life, but sadly left my friend heartbroken in her stead.

Many times people who carry emotional injuries from heartbreak tend to unknowingly look for “new victims” – people who obviously have emotional feelings for them – drawing them in by accepting their attention and offers of affection, and on that basis beginning a supposedly “new relationship”.

During this time, the “emotional bandage” becomes the knight in shining armour or beautiful amazon, fulfilling an immediate desire to be saved from the pain. This person absorbs the pain and hurt of the injured, new love, bearing his or her burdens, listening to every complaint with patience and understanding.

But once everything falls back in place and our formerly heartbroken party is discharged from the “Clinic of Emotional Healing”, the poor victim who thought they were in love will be shown the way out. They are not needed anymore.

Before you go into any romantic relationship with a new person, ensure that the other person is not carrying a fresh emotional wound and looking to use you as a walking stick. It is better you do not go beyond being a good friend, and make sure that his or her wound is healed, and they have attained peace with the past and are ready to completely let go of the previous chapter, and then begin a fresh chapter of their life with you, looking towards the future and not the past.

If you fail to do this, you just might run the risk of becoming an emotional bandage.

 

Photo: Image Stack, Xcitationdream

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